I finally found a job I am qualified for...thank you Craigslist:

DO YOU LOVE MUD?
WOULD YOU LIKE A FUN-PART-TIME JOB?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MARCH IN THE MUD IN YOUR BAREFEET AND BE PAID FOR IT?
I AM LOOKING FOR A MUD MARCHING PARTNER WHO WOULD LOVE TO MARCH WADE AND MIX MUD IN OUR BAREFEET EVERY SATURDAY $30.00 DOLLARS AN HOUR!!!THIS IS A VERY FUN JOB AND IS GREAT EXERCISE!!!YOU MUST LOVE MUD AND YOU MUST ENJOY MARCHING IN THE MUD IN YOUR BAREFEET!!!!WE WILL BE MARCHING IN STICKY RED AND GREY POTTERS CLAY FOR POTTERY.YOU MUST BE IN GREAT SHAPE AND HAVE STRONG LEGS AND BE ABLE TO MARCH IN THE MUD FOR HOURS AT A TIME.IF YOU WOULD LOVE THIS FUN PART-TIME JOB PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME PHONE NUMBER AND A DETAILED MESSAGE AT 604-544-2544!!!.ANYONE CAN APPLY!!!!!!!!!

So I hope I am in good enough shape to qualify. Fingers are crossed