Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts

Friday, April 13, 2012

Easter 2.1 - Jesus Christ Superstar




It was only after writing an entire but dissatisfying reflection on a different piece of artistic influence that I realized there was actually only one option. How could I have been so slow to not recognize the piece of art that has easily been most significant in my life. In fact I think it is precisely because it is so embedded into my life and my family's life and perhaps in particular my faith that it can be difficult to step outside of my own life and see it. This can be highlighted in particular by perhaps some of the most blasphemous moments of my own life this past year as I responded with a medium a level of interest and occasional disappointment as Amy and I visited the Holy Sepulchre, Temple Mount, Gethsamne, and Galilee but with rapturous delight and unending excitement as we were able to visit some of the sites that the film of Andrew Lloyd Webber's rock opera, Jesus Christ Superstar were filmed and also explore geography similar to that of the film.

The film Jesus Christ Superstar, would be what my father point to if asked about his conversion to Christianity. He was a teenager in Holland when the movie came out and he went to see it. The film had a tremendous impact on him, in particular he would cite the absolute gut wrenching anguish and horror of Mary Magdeline during the scene of Jesus flogging. The horror of the scene is, not achieved at all by graphic violence, such as in the Passion, but rather in the emotional reactions of the various characters who are witnesses. This I think highlights a power unique to film that allows the audience to be in a story and intimately connected with characters as if you were standing right next to your best friend, lover or enemy, experiencing their love, anguish, fury, doubt and fear. There is an intimacy that the audience can experience with characters of a film that is to my eye utterly unique, outside of perhaps a small amount of non traditional, very experimental theater.

The music of Superstar is a staple of my family's house, particularly around Easter. Similarly, the movie has been an Easter tradition since I was around 10 or 12. The profound and witty lyrics, breathtaking landscapes, passionate voices and performance have breathed life and humanity into a story too often presented with stiff sterility. Taking primarily Judas' perspective the movie is filled with doubts and questions. The line “You've begun to matter more than the things you say” is example of the brilliant irony with which profound theology is acknowledged and explored. “Jesus is important” Caiphus pronounces while plotting his crucifixion and also concedes “Jesus is cool.” The question, “Who is Jesus?” central to the gospels echoes through the whole opera, “Who are you? What have you sacrificed?” rings repeatedly through the title song immediately after Pilot questions, “Who is this Jesus? Why is is he different?” Even Jesus passionately questions his own death during his sung prayer in Gethsamne. This posture of doubt and question, obviously deeply influenced by our skeptical culture, is to my eye, in the case of Jesus Christ Superstar, one of earnest humility and genuine question. Irony and wit, cloak such an earnest yearning for truth from the source of the question itself, that Superstar remains spectacularly powerful. The quality of openness is something that I have come to deeply appreciate in art of all kinds. I think that great art is an invitation rather than a command, an invitation to explore both the art and the world.

It is in this openness, in both viewing and creating art that, I believe God's grace and providence can be powerfully witnessed. Jesus Christ Superstar, to the horror of many Christians has no resurrection scene or music. The final music which closes the show is titled “John 19:41,” which reads, “Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid.” Everyone in the movie gets back on the bus, even the successful suicide Judas, who stares to the cross of the one person left behind. The final shot of the movie is of the remaining cross at sunset. As the shot zooms out to close the film, a figure appears at the bottom left of the screen barely visible and walks across the screen directly in from of the cross followed by a flock of sheep. Director Norman Jewison recounts this Bedouin shepherd as coming out of no where and in no way an intended or directed event but rather a providential moment that left them in tears and thus closes the movie. As a Christian, I experience this as actually perhaps the most powerful and yet understated resurrection scene to occur in the history of cinema. The testimony of Jewison, highlights to me that as we engage creatively, we are not alone, but that the creative God who delights in his creation creates with us. The great directors Stanley Kubrick and also Terrence Malick shoot hours of footage and sometimes hundreds of takes in there desire to capture the unplanned moments of a Bedouin shepherd, a butterfly landing on a finger, or that unintentional bump of another actor. In this way I believe, our art can become prayers.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

“To be, or not to be…” - By Amy Ris

“If it’s meant to be, it will happen,” said the esthetician doing my nails this afternoon. I think this is probably the nicest sounding load of garbage I have ever heard. First of all, it doesn’t grammatically make sense. Globally, it doesn’t make sense in our world. Because what if “it” never happens? And “if it’s meant to be,” does that mean we simply sit back to watch and wait to see if we are one of the lucky ones who are meant-to-be-ers? And if we pour everything into making “it” happen ourselves, doesn’t that destroy the ethereal nature of the phrase “if it’s meant to be…”

For me, this phrase then leads into the discussion of how involved God is in our own, personal lives. Does he personally direct single people to find each other? Or do people find each other? And what about single people that don’t actually want to stay single? Can we simply say to them, “I guess it’s just not meant to be…”? How about a woman who can’t have kids even though it is her greatest heart’s desire? Is it simply just not “meant to be”?

And who are we to say what’s to be or not to be? That’s my question…

I am curious to know if you have ever said or heard this phrase and your own response to it within the context of faith and trust in God’s direction in our lives...

Duncan says the issue of how do we talk about these things with each other is as important as our theology...

Why is it so difficult to do these conversations well?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

True or False?

Here is something I am pondering but also that I think society is pondering at a number of levels...

I pose these as a number of questions.

Is it better to believe/know the truth or a non truth?
This one seems simple... the truth is a pretty high value fairly universally in our context.

Is it better to believe/know the truth because of a non truth or to believe a non truth because of truth?

To state it again: Which is preferable truth base on something false or something false based on truth?

Another question along these lines would be is it better to be right or to be rational?

Ok so now we add an interpersonal dimension.

Does non truth need to be corrected?
Probably a fairly simple agreement from most people...

Who is it more important to correct: Mr. Wrong Conclusion or Mr. Wrong Premise?

To place this in a faith context: would you destroy someone's faith over a false premise?

Would you tell a lie to convince someone of the truth?

I think these are harder and more complex questions than we think.

Obviously truth and non truth are often not easy to separate or discern... However this is in part why some of these questions arise...

Our society seems to be thematically repeating the idea that society needs to believe a lie to function... That order requires a certain amount of deceit. Batman: The Dark Night in particular highlights this. But I've noticed it come up in a few other things and contexts recently... (sorry I am failing to recall specifics).

Anyway, I would love to have some dialogue about this... It is particularly the value judgement that I find fascinating...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Where do we come from?

I had to write a life story last night for a class at Regent in order to introduce myself. It was required to be quite short, a mere 1000 words, but also was supposed to be filled with particularity which communicated a life rather than merely information. For better or for worse the first half of my paper was far more detailed and particular, covering my life from age five to seven. During this time three people in my life died, a friend in my kindergarten class and both my mum's parents. For some reason, last night this made sense in a way that I have not entirely connected with before. I often say, I am white middle class male who has had every advantage and no "real" pain or suffering in my life. This is usually my own disqualification for the deep sense of pessimism, obsession with suffering and generally negative view of life and the world. However, last night I realized that I have spent my life in the valley of the shadow of death. That my life was baptised in death deeply and dramatically at a young age. Is it any wonder that I am not filled with the optimism of other who did not experience loss like this, particularly at a young age? However, this revelation of self also begs the question: has this experience defined me or have I allowed it to? Why does it define me? We know come to evaluation... Do I need to rework my story? Do I need new definition?

It was in the midst of death that I found hope in Jesus, the one who has defeated death. I was anaesthetized with hope and became numb to death and yet I have carried that darkness with me. It has only been in the past few years that my emotions have thawed and I have felt ever more deeply the loss in my life that is unable to filled or healed. And yet as I learn to live in the shadow of death cast over my life, as I embrace the tension between life and death, somehow there is more freedom and life is sweeter. Last night as I reflected on where I come from, I realized the source and authenticity of my melancholy and in an odd way felt vindicated. It seems right to me to not yearn for escape or numb myself out and rather wrestle deep and enter into the pain, suffering, doubt, despair, depression and death of the world both intellectually and in reality.