Thursday, June 28, 2012

Buying Stuff

There are lots of things to buy - lots of things we need to buy - lots of things we want to buy - lots of pressure to buy lots of things. All this to say learning to buy well is an important skill. But it is not as easy as it sounds. I like many other people have often fallen victim to the purchase that I believed would be useful and enjoyable, helpful, stylish, or whatever... only to have it sit on a shelf, wind up in a box, be sold or given away... I try and think about what it is that makes something a good purchase in order to maximize those things and minimize the other kind.

The two main criteria seems to me would be value: both financial, emotional, or whatever... and use: which  relates to value but is also separate and self explanatory.

Top 10 best/favourite Purchases of my life:

1. A 1971 VW van - $600 dollars. I only slept in 3 or so times and it caught fire while I was driving. However, between the joy of driving it all summer in 2010 and the insurance settlement it ranks the best financial investment of my life.

2. Turbo Longboard - $100. Staying on the transportation theme this skateboard was more fun and got more use in the coarse of a couple of years in Abbotsford than the majority of sporting goods purchases I've made in my life. While I haven't used it much recently it remains near the top.

3. Hiking Boots - $100ish. Bought at Sport Check (I think...) with a staff discount from a generous employee I did not know. I no longer have them but I bought before leaving for Scotland took me nearly everywhere for a few years. They were excellent boots and excellent travels.

4. Aldo Sneakers - $12. Bought at Value Village. These were great sneakers until they became my primary walking shoes in Israel when my Teva sandals ($60) didn't work out... I also spilled some paint on them, but they are still my favourite.

Time Out: I am noticing the them of travel and transportation develop here... this was unanticipated. Pilgrim has become an important word in how I understand my identity perhaps this is related.

5. SX-70 Polaroid - $50. Retailing for $150 - $200 on Ebay this was a great find and had been a super fun hobby through which to explore photography and to do some art projects. This camera is the beginning of my relationship to Polaroid. cf: Polaroid is Time Travel

6. Pork - $50. I bought a big piece of pork for slow cooking into pulled pork for a BBQ. It was awesome and fed everyone at the party and then Amy and I for a week.

7. Flat Cap - $5. Bought at Value Village: a hand woven, tweed flat cap, made in Ireland. It's brown, its perfect, I wear it all the time.

8. Monsoon Balti - $5. A spice mix bought on our honeymoon from the market. A mixture of 14 different spice by Monsoon Coast has been a favourite to add to a variety of dishes. We were so sad to finish the jar but found it again and bought the larger jar.

9. A Bread Affair Bread - $5-6. This is my favourite bread. Possibly beaten by The stone oven baked bread we bought on Saltspring but it would be a tough call. I currently have a loaf made with Okanagen apples and sunflower seeds. SO GOOD! I applied to work there last summer and would not have come to Regent if they had hired me.

10. Typewriter - $20. A great 1960's Brother typewrite that I bought as gift for Amy. This purchase has yet to be truly tested but if Amy's output of letters and creative writing this past week are any indication this will definitely be up there.

This is an odd mix of things. And it is not a list of my favourite things. Well it is... but I have excluded gifts obviously. Also the order is pretty loose... It was difficult to order them as I am drawing from a lot of different categories. I also have hope that my most recent camera purchase of a Canon 60d will make this list in the near future. It could trade places with the type writer, which is also untested in longevity. Perhaps my backpack that I bought a few years ago should be added. Its excellent. I don't remember what I paid for it. Calvin Peters might know... That brings us back to the them of travel.

What are some of the great purchases of your life and why? 

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Pejorative Pagan Piss Off

As I mentioned in my not so recent post Avatar, my faith is changing. Over the past few months I have developed a strong distaste for the pejorative use of the words "Pagan" and "Heathen" in Christian circles and thought. Why? Because I know self-identified pagans and I love them. I know them to have great care for people and for creation, to have great self understanding and understanding of the earth. They care for one another. They hold beliefs that are in-line with Christian beliefs. They are not the opposite of Christian. They may be more "Christian" than I, a self-proclaimed believer may be. Pagans hold wisdom and truth and I hate that my own religious community uses their name in slander. When I hear "pagan" or "heathen" used pejoratively I feel offended and defensive.

I want my neighbours to be treated with the utmost respect, always.
I looked into the etymology of the words on wikipedia and sure enough this pejorative use has been around for centuries. I want it to end. I want the negative associations to be eliminated. Please help the Chrsitian community be a more welcoming and inclusive place.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Tag Lines and Change

Bible College grads losing their minds and their faiths...Difficult questions and discussion about life and faith...Navigating an Age of Anxiety...

You may have noticed over the past few weeks, things are changing on the blog. Change evokes many feelings, a sense of loss, a sense of excitement; amidst all of that it can also be reminder to pause and reflect. As we move forward we choose to reflect. Reflect on this one tube of the internet we have journeyed down for a year.

Danielle:
Smoke, Mirrors and Cigarettes was birthed out of a woeful unemployment support group meeting one year ago. The blog aimed to unite Duncan, Silas and I in our strife and help us face life as it is. We declared our state of woe to the internet world with our first tag line “Bible College grads loosing their minds and their faith.” Like a volcanic eruption, we spewed scorching thought and emotion in every direction. In fear that our volcanic ash might spread too far and threaten future relationships, we turned down the heat and moved to “Difficult questions and discussion about life and faith.” This tag line still encompassed strife and woe but with less concentrated acid. Now, the ash has settled, the magma has cooled, and I anticipate lasting volcanic rock will form as we take up “Navigating an Age of Anxiety” with a larger community.


Silas: 
Tag lines, love to hate them. From honesty, to function, to direction. This is how I understand the progression of the blog and in turn the corresponding tagline. We opened with blunt, unashamed, honesty. We were stir crazy, unemployed, and in various stages of deconstruction. Needing to vent, blog it. Got a beef, blog it. Want to say nothing at all, blog it. Such was the beginning. But soon there was concern. Were we endangering future careers, who was reading this, were we being destructive? Thus the first tag line was deposed and faded into memory, enthroning and beginning the long reign of "Difficult questions..." which served as a noble ruler of the blog. It kept us somewhat focused, it related in abstraction just like any distant and aging ruler. But soon there was dissension among the ranks. The ruler did not seem to apply as well as it used to. A new direction was rising from among the proletariat. The function of the blog was changing, becoming a guide through life. Lives that continued to change. Lives that were shell shocked on all sides by confusing and unsatisfactory answers. Where to go, what to do? But in the midst of that confusion arose the purpose itself. The purpose of open honest engagement with the options. The blog had become a space to navigate such things. Be it religion, politics, justice, or to engage them via art, music, or critical review. Thus the navigator was born to rule the domain of uncertainty and smoke in the wind.

Such is my recollection of the rulers known as "tag line".

Duncan:
I like like tag lines. The challenge to declare identity, ideas and meaning in as short a possible phrase... A phrase that says just enough and not too much. I think I first tag line: "bible college grads losing their minds and faith" ultimately said too much. While it expressed the angst of a trajectory we perhaps had moments of being on, it was neither the direction we desired, nor the journey we have really taken. However, I think it was good to put words to an experience and fear and in so doing gain some perspective and control as to what was going on in our lives, what we were doing and what we could do.

Our second tag line that has guided most of the year, "Difficult questions about life and faith..." maintains the sense of dissatisfaction present in the first tag line, however moves from personal lament to prophetic challenge and critique. One of the experiences of trying to reintegrate into life after graduating bible college was a deep deep frustration with simple answers which whitewashed complexity and rhetorically badgered opponents into submission with spiritual language. This was something we experienced both within bible college and also the church. However, it was also something we were now equipped to identify and challenge. The importance of a voice of dissent is something that has haunted my ears and my life as I have navigated the challenge both on the internet and in conversation of when and how to disagree and present alternative perspectives, problematic premises and inconsistent thinking.

Our new tagline, "Navigating an age of anxiety..." expresses a desire move toward proactive thought and action. We have with varying degrees of consistency maintained this space, as a place for open thought, questions, creativity, lament and celebration. We are excited to continue to this communal creative and intellectual embrace of life. We have formally invited a number new authors to become regular contributors, we are excited to engage with each other and our readers in this ongoing intentional fashion as we navigate life as thoughtfully and creatively possible. Hopefully leaving each other, our communities, countries, and planet more aware and with more shalom in the process. Our world is plagued by war and destruction... we seek peace and reconciliation, we seek freedom in truth, we believe in the possibility of hope.

This blog has moved from a cry of lament, to soapbox of critique, to an act of faith.

Where to now?

New authors, a new layout, and new direction while blogging. These are things we (and hopefully  now you) are excited about. Now in reverse order. Direction: after a year of open, unadulterated, blogging, we found ourselves restless about the content the blog. Therefore, we have decided to categorize our blogs. As you can see, we did not so much limit the scope of our blog, rather we gave it some guidelines. Hopefully all of your favourite topics are accounted for and maybe some new ones peek your interest. This direction has lead to some formatting changes, which should aid your reading and internet lurking experience. Last but not least, we look forward to the introduction of some new authors to the blog. Fresh ideas, fresh perspectives, specific niches,  a growing blogging community. It all sounds fun, does it not?

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Please Disagree


I encountered a problem, one I hope a reader will be able to answer.

I live with people I like, but our apartment lacks a conservative voice. So when a question arose just before dinner we were left without an answer, only speculation. It is a question prompted by the following quote, a quote a friend shared on Facebook.




The question that arose after reading this quote was: "How would a conservative (either religious or political, or both) respond to a quote like this?" Or as a general statement, "How would anyone disagree with that?".

My roommate posed the question. None of us had an answer. So here I am, asking the internet...How do you respond to a quote like this? Especially if you disagree. How do you disagree? Why do you disagree?

My roommates and I mused that to disagree one would need to hold to an ideology where making money was central, or at least significant, and we were not sure how one would hold that together with Christianity. Maybe I am wrong in this assumption. I hope someone can enlighten me about how to disagree with this because I am disturbed by my inability to come up with an opposing argument. Being obstinate and disagreeable make up a large portion of my house's humor, therefore this new found cohesion is eery. Hopefully someone can help me out with this, even if it is just for argument's sake, so I can return my house to our proper equilibrium.

Technology Battle

One of the frustrating things about computer technology is that it is not a very visceral experience to fix problems. When a machine, like a car, is broken or not cooperating, at minimum you can safely kick the tire or hit the streering wheel and it is very possible that fixing it will involve actual physical wrestling of bolts and parts off and then back on (this can be frustrating). You might even get the satisfaction of needing to hit something with a hammer to make it work... And in the end you as a complete human being will have both physically and intellectually triumphed over the machine. You will never have this satisfaction with a computer, especially an iMac.


While you may like to take your computer or copier out back kick the sh*t out of it Office Space style, this is guaranteed to destroy it. This is first degree destruction. And while perhaps satisfying, and I am not convinced, you will have only finalized your failure to fix the problem. There is no way to safely and satisfyingly abuse your computer. Yelling at it, swearing at it, calling it names and calling down curses is about as close as you can come. If you are really angry you can pull the power cord out. But then you will lose any unsaved information.

One of the very interesting things about computers is how perfectly cerebral most of our interactions with them are. I have been working on my computer for the past two months, have finally battled my mac in to submission to burn blu ray discs, and feel my state of mind returning to equilibrium after endless frustration.

I am thinking very seriously about switch from mac to pc and editing with Adobe. Any thoughts on the most recent Premeire?

Despite my success, I am honestly not entirely sure what changed. It may have been the installation of a particular program or that my computer and external drive just needed to go on a few dates before they were ready to get busy.

Is it plugged in?
Did you try restarting it?

It is a fascinating dynamic that we use vast quantities of technology almost daily and often have very minimal comprehension of how they work, how to fix them etc. We are users. We sign in with our user name. We know how to use it, but that is all.

Is this a dysfunctional relationship?

I need more exercise.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Narcissism


"So whats your play about?"

"You know Jesus Christ Superstar?"

"Yeah"

"Its like that except about me."

This exchange takes place in a movie called Multiple Sarcasms, which is about a man writing a play. The play is basically autobiographical and is self reflexively also about him writing the play. I happen to thoroughly enjoy this sort of authorial narcissism that places oneself into the story. Other examples are Adaptation, and the web series Clark and Michael.

It seems to me that there is a rather large amount of film, television, plays, books etc. in which the central characters are writers. This of course is not really that surprising after all, writers write about what they know and eventually if they are successful writers, what they know most about is writing and so they begin writing about writers and writing, the way Nickleback sings about being famous rock stars and Brittany Spears sings about the paparazzi. And perhaps there is not really anymore content about writers than doctors, police, computer programmers and housewives, it is merely my own narcissism, which means that I am more interested in and take more notice of characters with which I identify with or inspire me.

A question I am always uncertain of is to what degree to embrace my narcissism in my writing... is it something I should be hiding and disguising? or flaunted and put on display? Creative guru and artistic coach Julia Cameron, in her book on writing, Vein of Gold, suggests that autobiographical writing is important in the process of creativity whether or not you are publishing a memoir. Writing a fairly in depth autobiography is important as a resource for other creative projects. It is a map of your life and experiences which are the very resources one has to draw upon for creativity. It is a form of library index of material to draw upon for writing. I think this is an interesting idea.

Problematically for myself, writing is a form of performance art, that usually requires audience for motivation and completion. I struggle to read my first drafts of anything, preferring to immediately upon completion, read it out loud to my friends, give it to Amy or someone else to edit or in the case of this blog press publish. Once I have pressed publish, I usually go back and am able to make corrections.

I struggle with premature publishing. I apologize. I am working on becoming a more patient writer.

I read this twice before publishing. But I wrote that I read it before I actually had and I actually only read it once.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Business as Un-usual

A few weeks ago, I entered the business world. I attended the Abbotsford Chamber of Commerce Luncheon for work. I was there on behalf of a colleague to promote our newest development initiative. The luncheon was a networking opportunity for Abbotsford bussiness and community leaders to make connections. So, with a hand written name tag stuck on my well-pressed shirt, I donned my most welcoming smile and tried my best to act like I belonged in the same room as the Mayor and Chief of Police and Chamber Directors.

When I was in 11th grade, one of my older friends started a degree in Commerce, and I distinctly remember asking for a definition of the the term. The epiphany of time that has passed, and passing from school to workforce struck me anew. I was shocked to see the president of the college from which I graduated in attendance as well, and by his expression I could guess that he was equally as allarmed at my rapid transformation from text books and hoodies to business and blazers. Though I was distinctly aware of my youth in a room seasoned with knowledge, experience and decades of acquaintance, I could feel myself growing older.

I was in a place that I never expected any job to take me, precisely because my primary dream for life, since youth, was to be a missionary in the most traditional sense of the term. Though the dreams of wearing oversized tie-dyed dresses, speaking a near-extinct language and living in a mud-hut village have passed, I have not developed a new dream career path. At this luncheon, I thought to myself - this is a good place to be, among influential community members shaping our society for good.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

What a Day in the News

Today I was overwhelmed by news. As I traveled my regular route through the internet I was slammed again and again by violent, unbelievable, disturbing news. By the end I felt impotent to do anything.. so what better to do then to share these things with all of you.

Criminal Minds, CSI, Sherlock Holms...psychopaths and murder. But when it hits real life, apparently that is a bridge to far. But really who hosts this video? Why do people watch such stuff? Why do I like crime shows?
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2012/06/14/teacher-fired-over-magnotta-video.html

The gong-show in parliament. Frustrating to watch from the side-lines knowing the budget will pass. Yet is is inspiring to see people who are willing to fight with resolve for what they believe in. http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2012/06/14/pol-commons-budget-bill-vote-marathon.html

More government mischief. If this was proposed by China the west would be up in arms, but it quietly occurs here at home while no one notices. Frustrated.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2012/06/14/ns-parks-canada-letter-warning.html

Then I turned to the world. Things did not seem more optimistic. Well they caught the guy, his alleged crime gave me shivers to imagine.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-18453996

Thoroughly disturbing. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-18453995 I have no words.

I am not sure if conflict ever truly ends. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18453372

Then I wonder if I have any right complaining about anything, because my life does not resemble anything like this. http://www.aljazeera.com/news/middleeast/2012/06/201261503338837464.html I may not like the Canadian Government at the moment but at least it is not like this.

Thus concludes my depressing encounter with the internet, and my regurgitation of it into blog form.

Actors, Pastors and Lawyers...

I feel like the title of this post sounds like the beginning of a joke... If you know how its goes or come up with one please write in the comments.

An actor, a pastor, a lawyer and an advertising executive walk into a bar. The Bartender asks, "What brings you fine gentlemen in here today. The actor says, "I have lived perfection on stage how can I face reality sober?" The pastor says, "Jesus said, "This wine is my blood. Drink in remembrance of me." The Lawyer says, "The whole world hates me because I do a good job defending criminals... I'll have your finest scotch." The Ad exec says, "I'm meeting a client."

The Bartender says, "Ah yes my friends. Thats the life... Stand on a stage, tell your stories, tell people what they need, what the want, who they are, play with their guilt, the speech, the song, the dance, the money, the ceremony and of course, my specialty, the drinks. Yes my friends you are all living the dream."

Not sure if its enough of a punch line... but the inspiration for the post is the similarity between actors, lawyers, and pastors, and the not uncommon overlap of careers. Anecdotally, I know of at least 10 people that fit into at least 2 of these categories and have heard finding people who are/have been all three is not as horrifyingly uncommon as it might first seem. All three professions at their best are passionate about truth, both the discovering and presentation of truth. Two of them are explicitly concerned with the theme of justice and certainly this theme is not uncommon in the arts community. Two of them likely pay terribly and one probably pays well. There are elements of performance in all three jobs.

I was extensively involved in theatre through elementary and high school. In fact school plays are easily my favourite memories of school. I have been regularly accused of lawyering by particularly my mother as we discuss or debate various topics or family issues. I have of course most recently graduated from a Biblical studies program during which I also did a pastoral internship.

So... anyone want to take the LSAT?


Friday, June 8, 2012

Lamenting

Why is it that theology, faith, and opinions divide and cause harm to the extent they do? Where is our ability to differ and tolerate those with whom we disagree?

Are we so afraid of differences that we are willing to attack others, assassinate his or her character, and cause turmoil? To what do we owe this "high ground"? Is this finger pointing, reacting out of fear, not exactly what the pharisees did when they encountered a radical Jesus? Look where that got them; bloodied hands, hardened hearts, and a dead Jew. Is history so veiled that it will play on repeat as if no-one is watching?

Why is it easier for me to accept being blackballed than it is to watch someone else experience being blackballed? If only the label "Heretic" was mine to bear alone. For then others would not need to bear such a weighty chain.

So I pray:

Be slow to point fingers,
be slow to speak,
for the role of accuser is not ours to bear.

Be calm in danger,
be patient in trials,
for they have been journeyed before.

Open yourself to another,
open your mind to possibilities,
for as we dethrone ourselves we meet a God who did.

Enact charity,
enact compassion,
for the accusers think they are well intentioned.

I grieve these things for a friend under attack.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Wire - "The game is the game"

I recently finished all 5 seasons of The Wire - a critically acclaimed HBO TV series that ran 2002-2007. I will add my voice to the celebration of this masterpiece of television. Television is most often produced as a religion. You are expected to attend weekly. They put on a show and life goes on. If your life is horrible or boring you can find excitement and escape in the lives of the characters of the TV show. This cycle is basically expected to continue forever. I personally think this happens to be awful. Religious fervour should be reserved for religion and even there one ought to be careful. We ought to expect better from TV, movies and art. The type of television I have described is basically soap opera although it is not reserved for actually soap opera. What it is not is good or meaningful storytelling...it is it endless, ultimately unfulfilling, character masturbation through arbitrary plot lines, perpetually postponing closure for the purpose of commercial revenue. There is minimal plan or meaning, merely the propagation of the powerful position of aired television.

The Wire is different. The wire is organized both within each season and the series as a whole, in order to share compelling, complex narratives, filled with engaging material, deep characters, and powerful social critique. It is one of the very, very few television shows I am aware of that truly ends, with an appropriate and powerful amount of closure. Its not that it ends with a neat little bow. Endings can be too neat and that can be equally repulsive as a non ending. But it truly ends.

Endings are like break ups. They can be difficult and painful. We need closure. Ideally we don't want to be angry. Hopefully, everyone is able to walk away as more of a human, filled with important memories. I, personally, can not claim to have experienced any great break ups. However, when The Wire broke off our brief and torrid affair (I watch the last three seasons in 3 days), I felt neither abandoned or relieved, but rather simultaneously sad and satisfied.

The theme that I found to be explored most pervasively was the price of power. This is explored both in Baltimore's drug trade, police department, politics and unions. The price of power in dollars, blood, integrity, relationships and justice... Everything has a cost. How much are you able/willing to pay? Is it worth it? Various answers to these questions are played out over and over creating a very thorough exploration of the theme. The game is the game. The game is power.

My final comment is that unlike many TV shows, that you might "try out," The Wire requires a season commitment. It took me until episode 6 or 7 to fully "buy in" to the show. And as one of the pickiest TV viewers I know it is with passionate conviction I can say that the possibly slow entry into the show is absolutely worth it. I expect you to commit to watching the first season. I am convinced that you will be thrilled to watch the rest without encouragement.

If you are looking for feel good, mindless, escapist TV... this is not it. Go watch Jersey Shore. If you believe in the value of great art, literature, stories and cinema and are able to handle mature content with a level of sophistication... then I recommend: The Wire.

***Note: This is an HBO TV series and contains profanity, violence and nudity.