Technology Battle

One of the frustrating things about computer technology is that it is not a very visceral experience to fix problems. When a machine, like a car, is broken or not cooperating, at minimum you can safely kick the tire or hit the streering wheel and it is very possible that fixing it will involve actual physical wrestling of bolts and parts off and then back on (this can be frustrating). You might even get the satisfaction of needing to hit something with a hammer to make it work... And in the end you as a complete human being will have both physically and intellectually triumphed over the machine. You will never have this satisfaction with a computer, especially an iMac.

While you may like to take your computer or copier out back kick the sh*t out of it Office Space style, this is guaranteed to destroy it. This is first degree destruction. And while perhaps satisfying, and I am not convinced, you will have only finalized your failure to fix the problem. There is no way to safely and satisfyingly abuse your computer. Yelling at it, swearing at it, calling it names and calling down curses is about as close as you can come. If you are really angry you can pull the power cord out. But then you will lose any unsaved information.

One of the very interesting things about computers is how perfectly cerebral most of our interactions with them are. I have been working on my computer for the past two months, have finally battled my mac in to submission to burn blu ray discs, and feel my state of mind returning to equilibrium after endless frustration.

I am thinking very seriously about switch from mac to pc and editing with Adobe. Any thoughts on the most recent Premeire?

Despite my success, I am honestly not entirely sure what changed. It may have been the installation of a particular program or that my computer and external drive just needed to go on a few dates before they were ready to get busy.

Is it plugged in?
Did you try restarting it?

It is a fascinating dynamic that we use vast quantities of technology almost daily and often have very minimal comprehension of how they work, how to fix them etc. We are users. We sign in with our user name. We know how to use it, but that is all.

Is this a dysfunctional relationship?

I need more exercise.

Narcissism

"So whats your play about?"

"You know Jesus Christ Superstar?"

"Yeah"

"Its like that except about me."

This exchange takes place in a movie called Multiple Sarcasms, which is about a man writing a play. The play is basically autobiographical and is self reflexively also about him writing the play. I happen to thoroughly enjoy this sort of authorial narcissism that places oneself into the story. Other examples are Adaptation, and the web series Clark and Michael.

It seems to me that there is a rather large amount of film, television, plays, books etc. in which the central characters are writers. This of course is not really that surprising after all, writers write about what they know and eventually if they are successful writers, what they know most about is writing and so they begin writing about writers and writing, the way Nickleback sings about being famous rock stars and Brittany Spears sings about the paparazzi. And perhaps there is not really anymore content about writers than doctors, police, computer programmers and housewives, it is merely my own narcissism, which means that I am more interested in and take more notice of characters with which I identify with or inspire me.

A question I am always uncertain of is to what degree to embrace my narcissism in my writing... is it something I should be hiding and disguising? or flaunted and put on display? Creative guru and artistic coach Julia Cameron, in her book on writing, Vein of Gold, suggests that autobiographical writing is important in the process of creativity whether or not you are publishing a memoir. Writing a fairly in depth autobiography is important as a resource for other creative projects. It is a map of your life and experiences which are the very resources one has to draw upon for creativity. It is a form of library index of material to draw upon for writing. I think this is an interesting idea.

Problematically for myself, writing is a form of performance art, that usually requires audience for motivation and completion. I struggle to read my first drafts of anything, preferring to immediately upon completion, read it out loud to my friends, give it to Amy or someone else to edit or in the case of this blog press publish. Once I have pressed publish, I usually go back and am able to make corrections.

I struggle with premature publishing. I apologize. I am working on becoming a more patient writer.

I read this twice before publishing. But I wrote that I read it before I actually had and I actually only read it once.

Business as Un-usual

A few weeks ago, I entered the business world. I attended the Abbotsford Chamber of Commerce Luncheon for work. I was there on behalf of a colleague to promote our newest development initiative. The luncheon was a networking opportunity for Abbotsford bussiness and community leaders to make connections. So, with a hand written name tag stuck on my well-pressed shirt, I donned my most welcoming smile and tried my best to act like I belonged in the same room as the Mayor and Chief of Police and Chamber Directors.

When I was in 11th grade, one of my older friends started a degree in Commerce, and I distinctly remember asking for a definition of the the term. The epiphany of time that has passed, and passing from school to workforce struck me anew. I was shocked to see the president of the college from which I graduated in attendance as well, and by his expression I could guess that he was equally as allarmed at my rapid transformation from text books and hoodies to business and blazers. Though I was distinctly aware of my youth in a room seasoned with knowledge, experience and decades of acquaintance, I could feel myself growing older.

I was in a place that I never expected any job to take me, precisely because my primary dream for life, since youth, was to be a missionary in the most traditional sense of the term. Though the dreams of wearing oversized tie-dyed dresses, speaking a near-extinct language and living in a mud-hut village have passed, I have not developed a new dream career path. At this luncheon, I thought to myself - this is a good place to be, among influential community members shaping our society for good.

What a Day in the News

Today I was overwhelmed by news. As I traveled my regular route through the internet I was slammed again and again by violent, unbelievable, disturbing news. By the end I felt impotent to do anything.. so what better to do then to share these things with all of you.

Criminal Minds, CSI, Sherlock Holms...psychopaths and murder. But when it hits real life, apparently that is a bridge to far. But really who hosts this video? Why do people watch such stuff? Why do I like crime shows?
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2012/06/14/teacher-fired-over-magnotta-video.html

The gong-show in parliament. Frustrating to watch from the side-lines knowing the budget will pass. Yet is is inspiring to see people who are willing to fight with resolve for what they believe in. http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2012/06/14/pol-commons-budget-bill-vote-marathon.html

More government mischief. If this was proposed by China the west would be up in arms, but it quietly occurs here at home while no one notices. Frustrated.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2012/06/14/ns-parks-canada-letter-warning.html

Then I turned to the world. Things did not seem more optimistic. Well they caught the guy, his alleged crime gave me shivers to imagine.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-18453996

Thoroughly disturbing. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-18453995 I have no words.

I am not sure if conflict ever truly ends. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18453372

Then I wonder if I have any right complaining about anything, because my life does not resemble anything like this. http://www.aljazeera.com/news/middleeast/2012/06/201261503338837464.html I may not like the Canadian Government at the moment but at least it is not like this.

Thus concludes my depressing encounter with the internet, and my regurgitation of it into blog form.

Actors, Pastors and Lawyers...

I feel like the title of this post sounds like the beginning of a joke... If you know how its goes or come up with one please write in the comments.

An actor, a pastor, a lawyer and an advertising executive walk into a bar. The Bartender asks, "What brings you fine gentlemen in here today. The actor says, "I have lived perfection on stage how can I face reality sober?" The pastor says, "Jesus said, "This wine is my blood. Drink in remembrance of me." The Lawyer says, "The whole world hates me because I do a good job defending criminals... I'll have your finest scotch." The Ad exec says, "I'm meeting a client."

The Bartender says, "Ah yes my friends. Thats the life... Stand on a stage, tell your stories, tell people what they need, what the want, who they are, play with their guilt, the speech, the song, the dance, the money, the ceremony and of course, my specialty, the drinks. Yes my friends you are all living the dream."

Not sure if its enough of a punch line... but the inspiration for the post is the similarity between actors, lawyers, and pastors, and the not uncommon overlap of careers. Anecdotally, I know of at least 10 people that fit into at least 2 of these categories and have heard finding people who are/have been all three is not as horrifyingly uncommon as it might first seem. All three professions at their best are passionate about truth, both the discovering and presentation of truth. Two of them are explicitly concerned with the theme of justice and certainly this theme is not uncommon in the arts community. Two of them likely pay terribly and one probably pays well. There are elements of performance in all three jobs.

I was extensively involved in theatre through elementary and high school. In fact school plays are easily my favourite memories of school. I have been regularly accused of lawyering by particularly my mother as we discuss or debate various topics or family issues. I have of course most recently graduated from a Biblical studies program during which I also did a pastoral internship.

So... anyone want to take the LSAT?

Lamenting

Why is it that theology, faith, and opinions divide and cause harm to the extent they do? Where is our ability to differ and tolerate those with whom we disagree?

Are we so afraid of differences that we are willing to attack others, assassinate his or her character, and cause turmoil? To what do we owe this "high ground"? Is this finger pointing, reacting out of fear, not exactly what the pharisees did when they encountered a radical Jesus? Look where that got them; bloodied hands, hardened hearts, and a dead Jew. Is history so veiled that it will play on repeat as if no-one is watching?

Why is it easier for me to accept being blackballed than it is to watch someone else experience being blackballed? If only the label "Heretic" was mine to bear alone. For then others would not need to bear such a weighty chain.

So I pray:

Be slow to point fingers,
be slow to speak,
for the role of accuser is not ours to bear.

Be calm in danger,
be patient in trials,
for they have been journeyed before.

Open yourself to another,
open your mind to possibilities,
for as we dethrone ourselves we meet a God who did.

Enact charity,
enact compassion,
for the accusers think they are well intentioned.

I grieve these things for a friend under attack.

The Wire - "The game is the game"

I recently finished all 5 seasons of The Wire - a critically acclaimed HBO TV series that ran 2002-2007. I will add my voice to the celebration of this masterpiece of television. Television is most often produced as a religion. You are expected to attend weekly. They put on a show and life goes on. If your life is horrible or boring you can find excitement and escape in the lives of the characters of the TV show. This cycle is basically expected to continue forever. I personally think this happens to be awful. Religious fervour should be reserved for religion and even there one ought to be careful. We ought to expect better from TV, movies and art. The type of television I have described is basically soap opera although it is not reserved for actually soap opera. What it is not is good or meaningful storytelling...it is it endless, ultimately unfulfilling, character masturbation through arbitrary plot lines, perpetually postponing closure for the purpose of commercial revenue. There is minimal plan or meaning, merely the propagation of the powerful position of aired television.

The Wire is different. The wire is organized both within each season and the series as a whole, in order to share compelling, complex narratives, filled with engaging material, deep characters, and powerful social critique. It is one of the very, very few television shows I am aware of that truly ends, with an appropriate and powerful amount of closure. Its not that it ends with a neat little bow. Endings can be too neat and that can be equally repulsive as a non ending. But it truly ends.

Endings are like break ups. They can be difficult and painful. We need closure. Ideally we don't want to be angry. Hopefully, everyone is able to walk away as more of a human, filled with important memories. I, personally, can not claim to have experienced any great break ups. However, when The Wire broke off our brief and torrid affair (I watch the last three seasons in 3 days), I felt neither abandoned or relieved, but rather simultaneously sad and satisfied.

The theme that I found to be explored most pervasively was the price of power. This is explored both in Baltimore's drug trade, police department, politics and unions. The price of power in dollars, blood, integrity, relationships and justice... Everything has a cost. How much are you able/willing to pay? Is it worth it? Various answers to these questions are played out over and over creating a very thorough exploration of the theme. The game is the game. The game is power.

My final comment is that unlike many TV shows, that you might "try out," The Wire requires a season commitment. It took me until episode 6 or 7 to fully "buy in" to the show. And as one of the pickiest TV viewers I know it is with passionate conviction I can say that the possibly slow entry into the show is absolutely worth it. I expect you to commit to watching the first season. I am convinced that you will be thrilled to watch the rest without encouragement.

If you are looking for feel good, mindless, escapist TV... this is not it. Go watch Jersey Shore. If you believe in the value of great art, literature, stories and cinema and are able to handle mature content with a level of sophistication... then I recommend: The Wire.

***Note: This is an HBO TV series and contains profanity, violence and nudity.