Video: Rise and Fall

I made this video by myself on Saturday. It is sort of a sequel to No Parking Fire Lane. I made it almost compulsively. It had to be made. I am happy with way it turned out. I am not entirely sure how I feel about posting it... but I am happy with the way it turned out. I watched a movie this morning called The Art of Getting By and in it the protagonist's art teacher gives the assignment to make something "honest and fearless" otherwise he would fail the class and not graduate. Anyway with such encouragement to be bold I place this video before you.

I am exploring ideas of seeing, repetition, futility, striving, exhaustion, failure... I also am trying to juxtapose both the linear and circular... Why do I get up to fall down? Why do I open my eyes to close them? Why do I run up the stairs to run down them? Why am I running? What am I working toward? How do I see my self? How do I see the world? How do others see me? Does my effort get me anywhere? How do I learn to be aware of where I am?

Tolerance

I want to continue the tolerance tangent begun in “Pejorative Pagan Piss Off” a little further. I think it is a deeply important conversation. For pejorative usages of words become unimaginable slander without a worldview drenched in tolerance.

Responding to Greg’s comment: “I agree that over time people grow and mature but that doesn't necessarily mean that inherent in that growth is coming to the realization that your view is flawed (it might be), and I think you can still believe you believe something better and be tolerant.”

I think I disagree. I am not a fan of absolute statements, but I am about to make one here. I think that growing and maturing REQUIRES one to come to an understanding that one’s view is flawed. For it is when one critiques oneself, often with the help of others, that one is challenged to come to the end of dogma, and forced to realize one’s own epistemological fallibility.

I am not saying this will be a pleasant experience; often it is ripe with emotional turmoil. But when one comes to the end of self, it is there he/she is forced to meet the divine. Through complete deconstruction, one enters the void where he/she can no longer be the deity of his or her own universe.

Only once an individual has come to the realization that one’s own views are completely flawed, relative, and completely private/subjective; then one can re-enter the public sphere, speak convincingly, and interact with humility. It is then that one can tell persuasive stories, enact compassion and believe with force.

It is with a firm grasp of one’s flawed view that one can enter into tolerance and disagreement. One may still disagree with others, but rooted in the disagreement will be an understanding of one’s own lack of understanding of the “other” and the “other’s” views. As one cannot fully “posses” the other, one will never truly understand the other. It is this same inability to know another that draws people to love one another. For there is a longing to know and be know, but often the closer one gets to the “other” the more clearly he/she sees that he/she cannot ever fully know the other. 

Tolerance then stops being “you can’t tell me your right and I’m wrong” and instead becomes “we are both wrong! Lets talk, maybe we can come to a place that suits both of us”. It is in this change that we stop attempting to force others to become mini replicas of ourselves; rather two people/ideologies/beliefs have the opportunity of becoming something new. To use a metaphor: A coupling occurs; in essence, tolerance becomes “belief sex”. This coupling is a move away from ideological and belief replication (ideological masturbation).

If one is engaged in ideological sex with another (rather then attempting to create “mini mes”), the use of terms in a pejorative manner becomes unimaginable. What husband slanders his wife in a marriage bed? What wife character assassinates her husband, calling him “a lowly janitor” while coupling? Such actions surely would “break the mood”, if not destroy the relationship all together.

In this view of tolerance, one goes beyond the acceptance that other people are different from one; and moves toward a welcoming posture, an action that makes a move towards the other. A move not rooted in the hope of coercing the other to become like oneself, but a move made with the possibility of persuasion. The possibly, to be persuaded both ways: that one might be persuaded, as well as the other might be persuaded.

I think this form/understanding of tolerance emulates a God who is constantly pursuing humanity. A God who yields and asserts in relationship. A God who is both other and known.

The Best Of Year One

Silas:

As I began to think about what I would choose as the “best of” regarding the blog, I came back stumped. Not because there was not any worthy pieces, rather there were far too many blogs that I deeply enjoyed.

Reflecting on what has all been posted on this blog in the last year I am floored. The range of topic we tackled, the new and old ideas we laid out, the offensive, the funny, and the forgettable, it was all here. I have a hard time comprehending how we accomplished what we did, and I do not even want to know how many cumulative hours the tree of us have spent writing, reading, and commenting (what else could I have done with that time??? I guess I will never know).

Readers, you make us excited. I know we (the authors) all keep an eye on the statistics running in the background, it is thrilling and puzzling to know how many people are stopping by to read, yet not always knowing whom? I want to say thanks to all you reading this, for reading it. I am always surprised when someone I least expect comes up and “confesses” they read our blog. What a thrill! Also a specific thanks to some of the dedicated readers who continue to interact with us and the ideas posted here, either through comments or conversation. Though not always pleasant at the time, the discussion have been valuable. To get biblical “as iron sharpens iron…”.

Our Favourite Posts by Danielle:

Canada Needs Economic Reform Too
- I love the force of this post. Sharp and to the point. Silas.

Mustache Tattoo Video
- Fantastic! There was serious discussion regarding Danielle actually getting this tattoo. I think we had someone lined up to do it for free... But alas cooler heads prevailed. Duncan.
"Is Monogamy Making Us Miserable?"
- This was one of our first Sh!t disturbers. I remember it ruffling feathers, therefore it has to make my top three. Silas.
How Do You Share Your Faith with Others? 
- This, I thought, was a brilliant, ironic and interesting reflection on the way we think about evangelism. Duncan.
Pejorative Pagan Piss Off
- Rounds out the top three. I think I really like Danielle's more provocative posts. Challenging me to think about things from alternative angles. Silas.

Celebrating Pilgrimage to Mecca 

- Again the combination of poignance and irony make this one of my favourite posts. Duncan.

Our Favourite Posts by Duncan:

Talking to Trees
- Part of my love for this was eaves dropping on Duncan while he imagined this, before it came into reality. The other part of my love for this was watching Duncan become more passionate about place and trees.  Silas.

What is the Gospel?
- What a fun journey of disagreement that was! Shaking the pot hard, and I am not sure we have yet settled down from that disturbance. Silas.

No Parking Fire Lane
- We had a good time making it. Duncan did a good job putting it together, and now it will last as our reminder Olam-eternal (such is the intertubes) of our unemployment.  Silas.
- This is one of my favourite memories. I think we really captured/created something interesting and perhaps even important here.  Duncan.

Hidden and Revealed

- This was a really personal post. I'm still working through these ideas of place, family and identity. This is one of my favourite posts on these themes because the poetry turned out well. Duncan.

Changing your Hair

- This was a fun post and one that sparked probably the most discussion in my real life. :) Duncan.

Our Favourite Posts by Silas:

You and I By Gaga – My reading of this text
- I had fun writing this, enough said. Silas.

Stories Pt. 1, 2, 3
- I know I am cheating because technically it was 3 posts, but it all runs together in my head. Silas.
- My favourite of the three was #2 with the Fire Chicken. But this was an excellent reflection on narrative and it importance, role and unique strengths. Duncan.

CYOA: Genesis 37-50 – The Egyptianization of Joseph
– Though this post might not be the most fun to read, but it was incredibly formative for me while writing it. With Joseph as a negative example I have been forced to rethink some to the themes of the patriarchs. In doing so I have found a faith that is more compatible to human experience, more relevant to everyday life, and altogether a more exciting story to join. Silas.
Harry Potter Hermeneutics
-The first of the Harry Potter heresy and I think also the best. My favourite part is Silas's claim to have learned scepticism through Harry Potter's unreliable narrator. Duncan.
The Wild Goose
- This image of God as a wild goose stopping by and playing in the mud with us has stuck with me all year. Duncan.
Allah and Compassion - I found great encouragement and hope in Silas' engagement in interfaith dialogue. Danielle. 

Collaborative Post:
CYOA: Timothy 2:1-15 - Egalitarianism!
- This was an invigorating discussion over a number of posts back in December 2011. It is our blog so we got the final word. Duncan.


Duncan:
This has been an interesting project and it has been good to go back and reflect on what we have written. Remembering is a very Biblical theme. It has been good to take time to remember and reflect on our journey. It is exciting to look back and watch Danielle transition from processing Africa to working toward positive communal change in the way we think, talk and act toward each other especially the 'other'. It is exciting to see Silas continue to explore and extrapolate ideas of empire and narrative into areas of faith, life and culture as well as make the transition from immersion in the academy toward integration of skiing and walking and reading and biking; gardening and harry potter and pop music. I feel like, for me, this year has hopefully been the beginning of rebuilding and defining ideas about place, identity, vocation and family. Along with Silas I echo my appreciation for your readership and participation as we journey out loud and online here at Smoke, Mirrors and Cigarettes.

Which posts from this last year were your favourite? And why?

Buying Stuff

There are lots of things to buy - lots of things we need to buy - lots of things we want to buy - lots of pressure to buy lots of things. All this to say learning to buy well is an important skill. But it is not as easy as it sounds. I like many other people have often fallen victim to the purchase that I believed would be useful and enjoyable, helpful, stylish, or whatever... only to have it sit on a shelf, wind up in a box, be sold or given away... I try and think about what it is that makes something a good purchase in order to maximize those things and minimize the other kind.

The two main criteria seems to me would be value: both financial, emotional, or whatever... and use: which  relates to value but is also separate and self explanatory.

Top 10 best/favourite Purchases of my life:

1. A 1971 VW van - $600 dollars. I only slept in 3 or so times and it caught fire while I was driving. However, between the joy of driving it all summer in 2010 and the insurance settlement it ranks the best financial investment of my life.

2. Turbo Longboard - $100. Staying on the transportation theme this skateboard was more fun and got more use in the coarse of a couple of years in Abbotsford than the majority of sporting goods purchases I've made in my life. While I haven't used it much recently it remains near the top.

3. Hiking Boots - $100ish. Bought at Sport Check (I think...) with a staff discount from a generous employee I did not know. I no longer have them but I bought before leaving for Scotland took me nearly everywhere for a few years. They were excellent boots and excellent travels.

4. Aldo Sneakers - $12. Bought at Value Village. These were great sneakers until they became my primary walking shoes in Israel when my Teva sandals ($60) didn't work out... I also spilled some paint on them, but they are still my favourite.

Time Out: I am noticing the them of travel and transportation develop here... this was unanticipated. Pilgrim has become an important word in how I understand my identity perhaps this is related.

5. SX-70 Polaroid - $50. Retailing for $150 - $200 on Ebay this was a great find and had been a super fun hobby through which to explore photography and to do some art projects. This camera is the beginning of my relationship to Polaroid. cf: Polaroid is Time Travel

6. Pork - $50. I bought a big piece of pork for slow cooking into pulled pork for a BBQ. It was awesome and fed everyone at the party and then Amy and I for a week.

7. Flat Cap - $5. Bought at Value Village: a hand woven, tweed flat cap, made in Ireland. It's brown, its perfect, I wear it all the time.

8. Monsoon Balti - $5. A spice mix bought on our honeymoon from the market. A mixture of 14 different spice by Monsoon Coast has been a favourite to add to a variety of dishes. We were so sad to finish the jar but found it again and bought the larger jar.

9. A Bread Affair Bread - $5-6. This is my favourite bread. Possibly beaten by The stone oven baked bread we bought on Saltspring but it would be a tough call. I currently have a loaf made with Okanagen apples and sunflower seeds. SO GOOD! I applied to work there last summer and would not have come to Regent if they had hired me.

10. Typewriter - $20. A great 1960's Brother typewrite that I bought as gift for Amy. This purchase has yet to be truly tested but if Amy's output of letters and creative writing this past week are any indication this will definitely be up there.

This is an odd mix of things. And it is not a list of my favourite things. Well it is... but I have excluded gifts obviously. Also the order is pretty loose... It was difficult to order them as I am drawing from a lot of different categories. I also have hope that my most recent camera purchase of a Canon 60d will make this list in the near future. It could trade places with the type writer, which is also untested in longevity. Perhaps my backpack that I bought a few years ago should be added. Its excellent. I don't remember what I paid for it. Calvin Peters might know... That brings us back to the them of travel.

What are some of the great purchases of your life and why? 

Pejorative Pagan Piss Off

As I mentioned in my not so recent post Avatar, my faith is changing. Over the past few months I have developed a strong distaste for the pejorative use of the words "Pagan" and "Heathen" in Christian circles and thought. Why? Because I know self-identified pagans and I love them. I know them to have great care for people and for creation, to have great self understanding and understanding of the earth. They care for one another. They hold beliefs that are in-line with Christian beliefs. They are not the opposite of Christian. They may be more "Christian" than I, a self-proclaimed believer may be. Pagans hold wisdom and truth and I hate that my own religious community uses their name in slander. When I hear "pagan" or "heathen" used pejoratively I feel offended and defensive.

I want my neighbours to be treated with the utmost respect, always.
I looked into the etymology of the words on wikipedia and sure enough this pejorative use has been around for centuries. I want it to end. I want the negative associations to be eliminated. Please help the Chrsitian community be a more welcoming and inclusive place.

Tag Lines and Change

Bible College grads losing their minds and their faiths...Difficult questions and discussion about life and faith...Navigating an Age of Anxiety...

You may have noticed over the past few weeks, things are changing on the blog. Change evokes many feelings, a sense of loss, a sense of excitement; amidst all of that it can also be reminder to pause and reflect. As we move forward we choose to reflect. Reflect on this one tube of the internet we have journeyed down for a year.

Danielle:

Smoke, Mirrors and Cigarettes was birthed out of a woeful unemployment support group meeting one year ago. The blog aimed to unite Duncan, Silas and I in our strife and help us face life as it is. We declared our state of woe to the internet world with our first tag line “Bible College grads loosing their minds and their faith.” Like a volcanic eruption, we spewed scorching thought and emotion in every direction. In fear that our volcanic ash might spread too far and threaten future relationships, we turned down the heat and moved to “Difficult questions and discussion about life and faith.” This tag line still encompassed strife and woe but with less concentrated acid. Now, the ash has settled, the magma has cooled, and I anticipate lasting volcanic rock will form as we take up “Navigating an Age of Anxiety” with a larger community.

Silas: 
Tag lines, love to hate them. From honesty, to function, to direction. This is how I understand the progression of the blog and in turn the corresponding tagline. We opened with blunt, unashamed, honesty. We were stir crazy, unemployed, and in various stages of deconstruction. Needing to vent, blog it. Got a beef, blog it. Want to say nothing at all, blog it. Such was the beginning. But soon there was concern. Were we endangering future careers, who was reading this, were we being destructive? Thus the first tag line was deposed and faded into memory, enthroning and beginning the long reign of "Difficult questions..." which served as a noble ruler of the blog. It kept us somewhat focused, it related in abstraction just like any distant and aging ruler. But soon there was dissension among the ranks. The ruler did not seem to apply as well as it used to. A new direction was rising from among the proletariat. The function of the blog was changing, becoming a guide through life. Lives that continued to change. Lives that were shell shocked on all sides by confusing and unsatisfactory answers. Where to go, what to do? But in the midst of that confusion arose the purpose itself. The purpose of open honest engagement with the options. The blog had become a space to navigate such things. Be it religion, politics, justice, or to engage them via art, music, or critical review. Thus the navigator was born to rule the domain of uncertainty and smoke in the wind.

Such is my recollection of the rulers known as "tag line".

Duncan:
I like like tag lines. The challenge to declare identity, ideas and meaning in as short a possible phrase... A phrase that says just enough and not too much. I think I first tag line: "bible college grads losing their minds and faith" ultimately said too much. While it expressed the angst of a trajectory we perhaps had moments of being on, it was neither the direction we desired, nor the journey we have really taken. However, I think it was good to put words to an experience and fear and in so doing gain some perspective and control as to what was going on in our lives, what we were doing and what we could do.

Our second tag line that has guided most of the year, "Difficult questions about life and faith..." maintains the sense of dissatisfaction present in the first tag line, however moves from personal lament to prophetic challenge and critique. One of the experiences of trying to reintegrate into life after graduating bible college was a deep deep frustration with simple answers which whitewashed complexity and rhetorically badgered opponents into submission with spiritual language. This was something we experienced both within bible college and also the church. However, it was also something we were now equipped to identify and challenge. The importance of a voice of dissent is something that has haunted my ears and my life as I have navigated the challenge both on the internet and in conversation of when and how to disagree and present alternative perspectives, problematic premises and inconsistent thinking.

Our new tagline, "Navigating an age of anxiety..." expresses a desire move toward proactive thought and action. We have with varying degrees of consistency maintained this space, as a place for open thought, questions, creativity, lament and celebration. We are excited to continue to this communal creative and intellectual embrace of life. We have formally invited a number new authors to become regular contributors, we are excited to engage with each other and our readers in this ongoing intentional fashion as we navigate life as thoughtfully and creatively possible. Hopefully leaving each other, our communities, countries, and planet more aware and with more shalom in the process. Our world is plagued by war and destruction... we seek peace and reconciliation, we seek freedom in truth, we believe in the possibility of hope.

This blog has moved from a cry of lament, to soapbox of critique, to an act of faith.

Where to now?

New authors, a new layout, and new direction while blogging. These are things we (and hopefully  now you) are excited about. Now in reverse order. Direction: after a year of open, unadulterated, blogging, we found ourselves restless about the content the blog. Therefore, we have decided to categorize our blogs. As you can see, we did not so much limit the scope of our blog, rather we gave it some guidelines. Hopefully all of your favourite topics are accounted for and maybe some new ones peek your interest. This direction has lead to some formatting changes, which should aid your reading and internet lurking experience. Last but not least, we look forward to the introduction of some new authors to the blog. Fresh ideas, fresh perspectives, specific niches,  a growing blogging community. It all sounds fun, does it not?

Please Disagree

I encountered a problem, one I hope a reader will be able to answer.

I live with people I like, but our apartment lacks a conservative voice. So when a question arose just before dinner we were left without an answer, only speculation. It is a question prompted by the following quote, a quote a friend shared on Facebook.

The question that arose after reading this quote was: "How would a conservative (either religious or political, or both) respond to a quote like this?" Or as a general statement, "How would anyone disagree with that?".

My roommate posed the question. None of us had an answer. So here I am, asking the internet...How do you respond to a quote like this? Especially if you disagree. How do you disagree? Why do you disagree?

My roommates and I mused that to disagree one would need to hold to an ideology where making money was central, or at least significant, and we were not sure how one would hold that together with Christianity. Maybe I am wrong in this assumption. I hope someone can enlighten me about how to disagree with this because I am disturbed by my inability to come up with an opposing argument. Being obstinate and disagreeable make up a large portion of my house's humor, therefore this new found cohesion is eery. Hopefully someone can help me out with this, even if it is just for argument's sake, so I can return my house to our proper equilibrium.