My reflections on the Bible this week are not directly related to Ephesians 1. Many of my past CYOA posts have revealed that I am not keen on Bible reading due to my past experience of giving relationship with Christ highest priority in my daily life (which looked like Bible reading, practicing spiritual disciplines and engaging in Christian community) and experiencing an utterly withdrawn God. Since this experience, I have no longer desired to give this relationship with Christ highest priority in the same fashion. Hence, I have been nearly boycotting the Bible.
But recently, I have been thinking about whether or not a relationship with Christ can take place outside of common/suggested Christian practices – or at least if it is okay for a time.
Miranda Lambert wrote a country song titled Heart Like Mine, and as cheesy as it may be, to a degree, I identify.
Even though I hate to admit it
Sometimes I smoke cigarettes
Christian folks say I should quit it
I just smile and say “God bless”
‘Cause I heard Jesus, He drank wine
And I bet we’d get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet He’d understand a heart like mine
To be clear, I am far from walking away from this faith. But I am exploring if and how it can look different. I am not ready to start a church based on the theology of Danielle and who I hope Christ is or who I want him to be. Nor am I ready to start a church without Bibles in the pews. Yet I am wondering how to be faithful where I am. And if my opinions/experiences of faith, religion, and Jesus are of any worth when I do not read the Bible daily?
These are the thoughts that flooded my mind as I attempted to think about reading Ephesians 1 this past week.
Time for confessions: I don't read the Bible everyday and never have...
ReplyDeleteHowever, regardless of that I would argue my faith investment (and yours) is exceedingly high. I think that this gives significant value to our voices, even above the inherent value of everyone's voice, regardless of the "accuracy" or eloquence of our thoughts. In redemptive community I think that experience and sacrifice must be deeply acknowledged.
I hope you are encouraged to continue your tenacious walk of faith...
May we continually and courageously seek truth and speak truth as deeply and honestly as we are able.